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I help pull down her underwear to her ankles and start to plop her on the toilet. Her underwear can’t be on both ankles because she needs to spread her legs to anchor herself and balance. The reason this is a problem is due to the height of an average potty training boy versus the height of an average public toilet: Either the toilet is a tad too high, or it matches up so that the tip of his penis will make direct contact with the disease caked rim of the bowl. And so I have to help make him taller: By picking him up and dangling him in front of the toilet. I roll my eyes, thinking she has no idea how much harder it is to take a boy to the bathroom. When we get into the bathroom though, it occurs to me that her little girl can’t masterfully squat above the toilet seat without touching it like I can. I have to work very fast because she is doing the pee dance already.

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The happy image was strange to them and they were distrustful of it, expecting the spider to be paired with a fearful face.

The pairing was designed to teach them that spiders were frightening.

He then showed them two further images – a spider next to a happy face and a flower alongside a scared face.

So I use my knee to give him a little seat to perch on: And this doesn’t work either. With two little shakes, the underwear slips over her shoe: And it falls onto the sticky, urine laquered floor.

And in return, she agreed to not say “I told you so” anymore.