Funny dating contracts

The cost for 30 days - .99 will renew at .99/monthly if not cancelled (unlimited) The cost for 90 days - .99 will renew at .99 if not cancelled.For payment by telephone: The cost for 30 days - 30.Furthermore, if both members consent, this timetable may be sped up; however, if either party "gets too serious" and disregards this schedule, the other party may dissolve the relationship on the grounds of "moving too fast" and may once again be said to be "on the market." 4.TERMS OF EXCLUSIVITY : For the first thirty (30) days, both parties agree not to ask questions about the other's whereabouts on weekends, weeknights, or over long holiday periods. Failure to make these disclosures will result in the immediate termination of said relationship before it has a chance to get anywhere. INDEMNIFICATION OF FRIENDS : Both parties agree to hold the person who arranged the liaison (colloquially referred to as the "matchmaker") blameless in the event that the "fix-up" turns out to be a "real loser" or "psycho bitch". Further, each party agrees to make known any deep-seated complexes and/or fanatical obsessions with pets, careers, and/or organized sports.

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*********************************** ************** P R E - R E L A T I O N S H I P A G R E E M E N T The party of the first part (herein referred to as "she"), being of sound mind and pretty good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part (herein referred to as "him") : 1.Sixty (60) days following the commencement of the first date, either member may elect to use the terms "girl/boyfriend" or "lover" and their mutual acquaintances may refer to them as "a couple".Under no circumstances are the phrases "my better half," "the little woman," "the old ball and chain," or "my old man/lady" acceptable.I promise to assume that you are always coming from a place of love.I promise to love and accept every side of you and all of your emotions, moods, and insecurities.