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I’m told it’s fear of appearing desperate, but fuck that! The whole point of automating was precisely to make it not so. PS: I will not open-source the code since it could be used to hurt people, but I might share it if you ask nicely.

Acknowledgments: special thanks to Antonin Archer for helping me with this article.

The excess of choice made me wary of missing out on my perfect match. To make sure I wouldn’t miss out, I designed a rigorous first-date process. I went on 150 first dates but didn’t manage to find the One. At some point, we got lost and I used this opportunity to steal a magical first kiss. I wanted to tell her that I liked her, but I was anxious that she wouldn’t.

Most of the first dates led to nothing: we didn’t have much in common. As a founder, I stubbornly believe that everything is within my power to fix, and that something could have been done differently to force the decision in my favor. That was my best first date on more than 150, ironically the only one that hadn’t been part of my rigid routine. On our 5th date, she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Having more matches increased my odds of finding someone interesting, but it also became an addiction.

They’re looking for someone with brown eyes, short hair, between 5’10” and 6′, from north-east Birmingham, and so on. First, they make the writer sound like a control freak.To give you ballpark numbers, 43% responded after the first message, 21% after the second, 14% after the third, 9%, 3%,1%, 1%. The number would then be recorded in my custom CRM and automated texts would be sent with Twilio.I also had some tricks — like subscribing to premium services to make my messages more visible. I had a special feeling so I brought her on a special date at the Golden Gate Park.Another was exceptionally caring, and made me feel special, valued. Technology is leverage, and I think I leveraged it wrong: the execution was fine but the strategy wasn’t.Perhaps a better strategy would hinge upon Mark Granovetter’s research.