Let’s paint a scenario that should look familiar to most women. And by “seeing” him, I mean that you’ve been sleeping with him approximately once a week since the night you met. He is going to be a great boyfriend and husband for someone. And you know this already because if he wanted to be your boyfriend, he’d already be your boyfriend.
(If you’re not doing this, the story STILL holds, so please, stick with me.) You like this guy. The fact that he sees you once a week, doesn’t hang out with you platonically, hasn’t introduced you to his family, hasn’t talked about a future, and only communicates by text tells you everything you need to know.
She came to me because she seemed to be losing the affection of her husband.
Not only does this orientation set up a bride for disappointment and agitation in the future; it also places enormous pressure on her husband to deliver the impossible.
With every year that passes, she becomes more bitter and hostile at him for giving so little of himself to his family.
She attacks him viciously for what she considers to be his deliberate insults, and bludgeons him for refusing to change.
She refuses to attend office functions or provide any other support for his occupation.
She tells stories about him to their church associates.