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IRRITATING HABITS - What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY - How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

DATING - The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.