Or else, they feel engulfed when coupled, a nerve-wracking, constrictive way to live.
If this isn’t understood, empaths can stay perpetually lonely; we want companionship, but, paradoxically, it doesn’t feel safe.
They should have stopped or slowed down when they saw me coming. I thought that it was going to be really good here, so how come I feel so crappy. If you are not willing to put aside even a few months out of your life to focus on you and clearing out the emotional closet so you can get down to hand baggage and approach men, dating, and relationships from a healthier positive perspective, already dedicating a likely far longer period to self-negativity and poor relationships, there are certain things you need to do and remember: 1) You are choosing your experience and bearing in mind that you know what the very likely result will be, that puts you in the hotseat of responsibility.
2) You’d better leave your insecurities at the proverbial door, because while people accept that we come with a level of baggage, it is highly unattractive to be in relationships with people whose baggage permeates everything and who appear to need reassurance, validation, affirmation, and discussions above and beyond the comfort levels of even the healthiest of people.
If you’re an empath or if the ordinary expectations of coupledom don’t jibe with you, practice the following tips. Tips for empaths to feel at ease in a relationship: Tip 1. As you’re getting to know someone, share that you’re a sensitive person, that you periodically need quiet time. Nothing personal; they just like their own sleep space. Feeling trapped in bed with someone, not getting a good night’s rest, is torture. Even if my partner’s vibes are sublime, sometimes I’d rather not sense them even if they’re only hovering near me. Traveling with someone, you may want to have separate space too. ___ Judith Orloff MD is author of the New York Times Bestseller (Three Rivers Press, 2011), upon which this excerpt is based.
Energetically sensitive people unknowingly avoid romantic partnership because deep down they’re afraid of getting engulfed.
Most of all, this means asserting your personal space needs — the physical and time limits you set with someone so you don’t feel they’re on top of you.
Empaths can’t fully experience emotional freedom with another until they do this.
Why are you expecting different results carrying the same baggage, the same beliefs about yourself, love, and relationships, the same relationship habits, the same usual attraction to the same ‘ole assclowns?
I could sit here and talk till I am blue in the face and give you umpteen reasons why issues will continue to arise and you will continue to be unhappy, but you and only you make your choices about where you want to go and what you want to do.