As a deep-rooted issue which inevitably has roots in your back childhood, fear of intimacy can be challenging to unravel.
A professional counsellor or therapist can help you do so a lot faster.
Your perfectionism acts as a way to intimidate others, and it keeps you too busy for relationships, anyway.
Another form of perfection, the ‘ideal mate list’ is usually something that nobody can live up to, and is a convenient way to brush off connecting with others by claiming ‘I am sure of what I want and you just aren’t it.’ So you will pick someone who is emotionally unavailable (already taken, not looking for love, still hung up on someone else).
The wonderful thing about learning not to fear intimacy is that not only will your intimate relationships improve, but so too will your friendships, your ability to work with colleagues, and your capacity to actually create the life you want for yourself. Or leave a question or comment in the public box below, we love hearing from you.
I recently wrote a blog titled “7 Reasons Most People are Afraid of Love.” Within hours, the post had tens of thousands of reads and thousands of social media shares – numbers that would double and triple over the next couple days.
Having this problem may seem hard to relate to at first, since most of us claim that we want love in our lives.
Many of us feel cheated or victimized by circumstance, while failing to see that our biggest obstacle is how we get in our own way.
If someone falls for an image of you they want to see (but which you willingly provide), how can you be hurt if they decide they don’t like the image?At first, I was surprised at this response, but then I thought about the prevalence of the subject matter.Who isn’t on some level fearful or resistant to, not just falling in love, but in love? Robert Firestone’s theory of the “fear of intimacy” and was heavily inspired by more than 30 years of examples of clients, co-workers, friends, family members and countless individuals I’ve encountered across the world who’ve opened up to me about their relationship struggles. How can we overcome our fears of intimacy to find and maintain the love we so desire?This is the other ‘half’ of the codependency pattern, the aloof one to match the codependent’s voracious need. Everyone who claimed they knew her well had a different take on who the ‘real’ Marilyn was.The girl next door, the siren, the secretly intelligent woman.