I even threatened to leave an ex by opening a window and climbing down the fire escape!After a fight, my go-to move was crashing on the sofa, since it was closer to the door. With him, if I tried to set up camp on the couch post-spat, he simply, and sweetly, picked me up and carried me to bed instead.If it’s for unhealthy reasons, it’s time to wipe out this zombie ... It’s one of the laziest and most savage dating moves.
readers to find out why they skated — then asked an expert how to avoid the most common problems from the get-go. To help prevent such a breach in trust in your own situation, have “the talk” early on about what counts as cheating to both of you, says Laura Vander Drift, Ph D, an assistant professor of psychology at Syracuse University.
After these fights, I’d lie down on the sofa and turn my back to him. Had I left, we wouldn’t have gotten married a year and a half later or moved to a new city together six months after that.
And he’d leave me there and go into the bedroom alone. After that, instead of treating every work email like it was an emergency, I unglued my hand from my phone and made conversation with Dustin at dinner. I wouldn’t be sitting here in our new house, waiting for him to come home with our favorite breakfast burritos.
Three years later, John dumped So, I moved in with my friends and ended up taking my first writing class, joining a band, and loving my new life. If I hadn’t put his feelings before my own, I could have found this joy three years earlier. I learned the hard way that the only thing worse than calling it quits is staying together too long.
Rather than see a breakup as a failure, look at it as a thoughtful (even liberating! Sure, it’s difficult to trade the familiarity of a guy you’re comfortable with for the uncertainty of single life — but uncertainty, I’ve discovered, sparks discovery.