At the end of the painful process, a new woman emerges. Longer-term, it can be an opportunity for growth and happiness."I'm a strong person, I own my own business and I'm a professional speaker," she says.But she admits she could barely function for a full year after the split.Your kids won't tell you how they really feel about the divorce, but their behavior will. So monitor your kids' actions to understand how they're dealing."Children feel a sense of responsibility for the breakup no matter how much the parents state it wasn't about them," says marriage and family therapist Lesli M. Watch out for little ones regressing in their behavior—acting younger, wanting to sleep in bed with you—or showing anger toward siblings and peers."Therapists who haven't experienced divorce often create false hope," in regards to recovering quickly."It's important to have support that's educated as well as therapeutic."2. "I used a criminal attorney and got a poor settlement," admits Christine K. On the other hand, a lawyer who's well-versed in family law could get you a better settlement because she knows the state-law nuances and local judges and lawyers, says Jacqueline Newman, a partner at a boutique New York City law firm specializing in divorce.
To get things back on track, Doares suggests addressing issues as a family so everyone can talk about the changes together."It amplified the concept of a broken home." She wishes she had made plans to see her mother or a friend—or taken a vacation—to take her mind off spending the holiday by herself.So make sure you stay busy during that difficult time of year.9.If you and your husband have complicated combined assets, you may need additional pros.Kira Brown, 34, from Phoenix, AZ, owned a business with her ex-husband and wishes she'd also hired a financial planner for help negotiating her settlement.3. According to financial analyst Sandy Arons, a divorcee herself, 40% of divorce proceedings are about money.