Date asked me if i was dating anyone else

I was fun and flirty and skinny and pretty and snarky and had a bazillion friends and ‘friends’. My friend, who is my Bumble compatriot, says ‘yeah, Grey is on the fast track’. I’m creative and organized and know how to get shit done. Just something to keep me busy, earn a bit of money and meet people. I interviewed with the warden, someone from HR and one of the head guards. Emphasized my organizational skills, likeability, team playeredness (I know that’s not actually a word) and enthusiasm for the job. Then I threw in, god knows why, “I’m excited about the opportunity; I don’t have family here, so I’m always available”. I messaged back and forth with The Ginger for a while and discovered that he’s not actually from here. No clue if there were any sparks (on either end), but as he doesn’t live here anyway, I took it for what it was. We ended up exchanging numbers and said we’d keep in touch. No, not the inmates, but guards, employees, detectives, policemen, attorneys, whoever. They want to hear that I follow rules and never deviate from the plan. As if that wasn’t bad enough, as the warden was walking me out I said (you better sit down for this one) “I look forward to hearing back from you regarding the position.” But wait, that’s not all. So of course when I was sitting at a friend’s house and we were companionably swiping on our Bumble options side by side, we came across the same cute ginger at the same time. Left swipes and Right ones (figuratively and literally). We ended up staying for hours; talking, laughing, telling stories and just generally having a really good time.I felt like ignoring him might make things weird at work, so I just messaged back noncommittally (like, “Ha, look who it is”), hoping I could move the conversation to peter out without making it awkward.

Dude, if you realized that, why did you message me anyway and tell me that?

We were regaling her with our stories of online dating. I never thought of it as ‘fast tracking’ (proven my 7 years, give or take, of online dating – thus, the blog). And by game, I of course mean a lengthy and soul crushing journey to find the bright shinny penny in the piles of garbage.

To me it implies taking shortcuts and not really valuing the quality of the ‘route’ but just trying to accomplish something as fast as possible. You can imagine the look I gave my friend as we sat at happy hour on Monday with a mutual friend who is married. Is that what I’m doing by being on several dating sites at once and going on more than the average number of dates? Either that or I’ve already met him and scared him off.

In hindsight, I feel like there are other things I could have said or done to end the conversation sooner, but that’s only now that I know I wasn’t able to end it without confrontation.

It might be useful in general to know how to stop an inappropriate interaction like this in the future, so what would you have done? It’s not inherently weird to be on the same dating site as other people you know in other contexts.