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Sometimes the best way to get to your loins is through your ears. By the by, this man is heavy, stout, rotund, corpulent, or like Alice, fat. While 90% of people who lose weight gain it back, 99.9% of people who gain reckless abandon never lose it. And for me, the sense that I love to activate first is my hearing. (Okay, so it wasn't about sex, per se, it was my soundtrack for making out, but same principle applies.) I like a musical backdrop and chances are, if I'm playing Heart's "Crazy on You" or Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me," it is for a very particular reason. Soundtracks can really set the stage for great sex.

Professor Truls Ostbye at Duke University, author of the study, states, "our findings contribute to a growing body of research that indicates obesity is associated with reduced sexual functioning and sexual quality of life." Still, Alice progressed with the Internet. First there was cybersex: talking dirty in emails or instant messages.

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At first she was cautious about who she met and what their expectations would be. Don't bad things happen to people when they let their guard down -- this much? If I met a guy at a party, I wouldn't even have time to Google him first. Here's what she discovered: The notion that women can't have sex without love? The notion that women can't have great sex without love? It remains to be seen if they live happily ever after.

She learned that no one completely and totally loved themselves and that being a little insecure was not the end of the world. In other words, a guy who liked her and whom she liked back -- whom she let spend the night.