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Resist, resist, resist the stale heteronormative romantic script, even when the person applying the pressure is someone like Ellen, who should know about the oppressiveness of getting badgered to pretend to be something you are not. Saoirse: I don’t date…I don’t even know how to talk about it. You are beautiful and you’re funny and you’re smart.

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(The game goes on and on.) Saoirse: This game is going on for so long. (They discuss another selection Saoirse has made.) Ellen: He’s got a girlfriend also. When Ellen reiterated that Saoirse was almost 24 and hadn’t dated yet, I felt that she was getting close to shaming Saoirse. Singing, dancing, discussing favorite books – all that sounds great to Saoirse. Ellen wants Saoirse to pine for a sexual relationship. As a Co SP member noted, Ellen sees Saoirse as a special kind of single person: Ellen tells her she has to date "because you're beautiful and you're funny and you're smart." Notice how Ellen subtly divides single people into two types here.

Thoughtful and illumintating piece on this problematic exchange. Don't force people to be conventionable because it makes you more comfortable.

August 2008 - Present After dating for four years, Ellen De Generes and Portia de Rossi were married in August, 2008, before the controversial Prop 8 (which illegalized same-sex marriage) passed in November.

Really it doesn't matter which one, they'll call you both no matter how beautiful and funny and smart you are.

These are just emotional manipulation tactics to shame singles.