Houston chatline whore

’ Jocky re-engaged the hug and kissed his Gran on the forehead. Nice ti’ meet yi’, mongchops.’ Jocky went into hysterics. Went oot in style haein’ a square go’ wi’ a golf buggy quoting Star Wars. You went doon efter one punch when yir ba’s huv barely drapped. Granny Scott sensed my fear, smiled and pointed to the long, dark tunnel from which I’d came. Granny Scott mirrored the gesture and went to meet him.

Wha’s this chancer wha’s claiming he’s running the show? A middle-aged man in a white suit was sitting at a table outside it. I scribbled my name and handed it to Jocky, who enquired as to whether Heaven was busy tonight as he signed the book “BIG JOCKY, DFC #1”. As we wandered along Jocky bumped into an old friend.

‘Eh’m glad ti’ see yi’ still dinnae tak’ any pish fae folk.

’ Granny laid into him again, this time using her fists. Jocky backed off, apologising profusely until she calmed down again. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so happy, and I’ve seen him find his Tippex.

Jocky’s Gran was dead yet I could feel the trace of her kiss on my cheek.

Granny Scott smiled weakly, her eyes portraying great pity.