Dating a guy but no chemistry

Being a great person is a separate thing from being excited about someone in particular. And someone may be extremely attractive to you at first sight.

They have to be nice and all, but then there also has to be some coincidence of personality and fashion sense. Big deal, it does not confer the ability to predict the future. My parents met through a small group of friends in college, over a period of time, not through a series of formalized dating rituals.

Just found out that Allen, who I worked with five years ago at my last job and who was crazy about me, the guy who wanted a serious relationship with me but I blew off ….

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I generally do not write off anyone after a first date unless it is just a really obviously bad date and somebody I would totally NOT be interested in. You have it right away or you reject that person despite there could be lots of potential and common interests? Sometimes I would go out with someone 2 or 3 times and feel like it just isn't working (nothing you can really put your finger on) so we call it off.

I would definitely have to be honest with him and let him know that although he's a great guy, attractive, intelligent, etc... If there's no zing after the first date, this can almost be expected because both parties are meeting for the first time in person and they may be more nervous and apprehensive than normal. This idea of instant attraction, or it's old name, love at first sight, is a currently popular idea. When I first found myself back in the dating scene, I listened to my instincts and did not go out on a 2nd date with those I found no connection with.

I just can't see us having anything more than a friendship. Flubbed words, missed steps, off color commentary..name it. If the second go is pretty much the same then this far, no further. I don't need more than two dates to determine if there's anything to "feel". Then, I started to listen to those who said "but he's such a nice guy, maybe you just need to give him a chance." Each and every time I tried that, I wished I hadn't.

You feel like you're really kinda just spinning your wheels. If there is no attraction then there's no reason to plan a date (or continue the meet you're at for very long).

Unless it was someone I got along with enough to hang out with but not date and that person was ok with it.