You dont need to go on a 2 or 3 date to see if she's acttracted to you. They have it in them, but whatever you're doing together isn't bringing it out.Two passive people watching for sparks will have a long wait. You could be dating a depressed person whose apathy has shut down their capacity to get going.I would definitely have to be honest with him and let him know that although he's a great guy, attractive, intelligent, etc... If there's no zing after the first date, this can almost be expected because both parties are meeting for the first time in person and they may be more nervous and apprehensive than normal. This idea of instant attraction, or it's old name, love at first sight, is a currently popular idea. When I first found myself back in the dating scene, I listened to my instincts and did not go out on a 2nd date with those I found no connection with.I just can't see us having anything more than a friendship. Flubbed words, missed steps, off color commentary..name it. If the second go is pretty much the same then this far, no further. I don't need more than two dates to determine if there's anything to "feel". Then, I started to listen to those who said "but he's such a nice guy, maybe you just need to give him a chance." Each and every time I tried that, I wished I hadn't.If I'm unsure about my feelings from the first date, a second date should hopefully confirm whether or not our relationship will progress, romantically. Personally, after years of knowing someone, I've one day realized that I really like them and find them attractive. As I understand it, this type of socializing is still common.But I think anything more than that is just leading the guy on. You hang out with like minded people, without the pressure that comes from dating, and over time, as you learn about someone, you pair up.
Much like a gal who's "okay" looking can be hot to you because of something about her looks that strikes a chord, well in this case, an attractive woman that strikes a chord which rubs you the wrong way. Same can be said about her personality -- something rubbing you the wrong way.You don't want to give up on an attractive girl who's nice & cool, right? In both cases, don't go down the formal dating line with her assuming you're all about her. Now, I may not feel it on "the first date" because she's too nervous & quiet, seems too guarded, says a few things that I may not quite like, etc...at the end I think "Okay, she's a good product all around, but it was the -first- date..." If she's apathetic about going out again, then I try it out if her other qualities are especially great, otherwise, no I won't.If I don't get it in two dates, I won't get it in 4 or 7 or 100. I am now back to listening to my gut and calling it as I see it on the first date.Doing so would remind me of that poor schmuck who's trying to rub two sticks together to make fire out in the middle of a hurricane. I think what you wrote is too vague and interpretive.