Using a shadchan implied that a person was incapable of making a match without a shadchan.
However, there is an inherent irony in describing the current situation like this and it has been recognized.
Also, the shadchan should realize when their clients need to be passed over to health care professionals and to realize that they don’t own the clients.
It wasn’t only these reasons that pushed the shadchan into the shadows, but also the changing needs of modern society.
Rabbi Moshe Bellows Esq has set up a Shadchan Code of Responsibility in order to regulate the way that the Jewish matchmaker uses their very powerful role, because “the setting up of people for marriage is an important, delicate Endeavour replete with awesome responsibility”.
Endthemadness draws attention to what can happen when people are pushed aside in the Jewish matchmaking world, for example, if they are too poor, too old or have a disability.
Whereas shtetels revolved around Jewish law, today most Jews are assimilated in big westernized cities.Because the classic shadchan has a long and honorable tradition in Jewish life, it wasn’t the simple ordinary member of the community who could become a unifier of human beings.The shadchan had to have deep personal integrity and balanced judgment to be entrusted with as vital a task as arranging a permanent union.The values of modern society no longer call for a shadchan, society is more egocentric, people are aspiring for bigger and better things and people want to choose what they want and generally want it right away.Because the nature of society changed, the idea of a Jewish matchmaker became demeaning.