A helpful owl came to their rescue, first telling the rat to clamp its teeth onto its talons as the owl flew to safety and then returning for the shrew, who received similar instructions. Promise me you'll keep your mouth closed around my legs and on no account open it, or you'll fall to your fate! " said the mouse, who proceeded to clamp his mouth onto his feathered rescuer's landing gear. The owl was about to land on some high ground, but the mouse decided he wanted to alight some other place to get dry."Not there..." shouted the mouse, but those were the last words he ever spoke as he fell into the swirling waters below.Finally, as the tides rose ever higher, the owl came back for our talkative mouse."You are rescued and will live! We can all laugh at such a silly tale because we never behave in such self-destructive ways, do we?You can only value them if you are in the one-down position, which makes you more easily dismissed by them, hence abandoned (again).You may stay in the vicious cycle of pursuing hard-to-get lovers in order to keep replaying the old drama - to distract yourself from your old abandonment wounds. The first step is to recognize whether you have this problem. Question your motives: Are you looking for the emotional high of infatuation or seeking a trusting, loving, mutual relationship?Of course we do - although perhaps not as obviously - but why?
We all act needy when someone we love pulls away from us. After pursuing unavailable partners, being loved takes some getting used to. To enhance your entitlement and reception of love, practice self-love.In other words are you seeking romance instead of relationship? Reexamine your values about who is a "good catch." False notions about love, about what a relationship is supposed to be, and about what kind of partner to choose, may be keeping you outside of love. Make breaking this pattern a primary goal of self-improvement and therapy.Revamp your old values left over, no doubt, from high school -- the ones based on looks, money, status and the size of a person's ego, rather than on his/her capacity for love and connection. Recognize that these patterns don't just go away because you've become aware of them. Open yourself to new truths, new values, new experiences, and new people. As you aim toward your higher self, you increase your capacity for mutual relationship. Be suspicious of your gut -- when you feel attracted to someone, it may be because he/she is emotionally unavailable.© Susan Anderson May 11 2015 Why are we attracted to the emotionally unavailable? Obviously, if we lose interest as soon as someone becomes available, that won't work because we'd be forever chasing and never having a relationship. I get so much feedback about this kind of pattern, that I'm digging into my files and presenting 12 ways to overcome.Most people think they are specially equipped with radar to detect the right person - if not at first sight, at least by the second date.