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The Bible says that God will give us the desires of our hearts, but our desires are not always the same as our wants.I don’t believe God calls us to bee miserable so if you would be miserable without a spouse, it might not be your calling.As some of you who have been following my blog may know, I am very interested in the topic of marriage/singleness and the church.I believe that oftentimes, churches are so focused on marriage that those who choose singleness may be overlooked or feel unwelcomed.There is no doubt in my mind that God uses both the single and the married to do His work – the important thing is that the work gets done.

Sometimes someone might decide not to date for 6 months or 1 year following a break-up so that they don’t enter their next relationship “needy” and have some time to heal. Others wish to give a year of service and some missionary organizations do not permit dating during that term – although it is difficult if you love someone on your team, I have known people who stuck it out until the end of the year without dating and now are married to someone from the field.I personally have been on my own journey, but have not come 100% to a place of deciding this as my chosen path – I believe it is a long process which requires much deliberation and the counsel of close friends and family members.It should certainly not be rash, rushed into, forced upon, or an unattainable ideal.In everything pure logic and the Holy Spirit need to be weighed heavily against an emotional response (such as extreme anger over a recent break-up or an “idealistic” mindset).I believe there are many different reasons one could choose celibacy and they are likely all as valid as any of the others.