He says he started grieving his loss of her before she even died since she’d been bed-ridden for two years, and he knew he’d be saying goodbye.They discussed openly his finding someone new to spend his life with since they both knew he wasn’t very good at staying alone for very long. We live several states apart from each other, so for now our relationship is mostly on the phone and whenever he can come up for long weekends.Failure to understand and accept those different ways of grieving can result in hurt feelings and conflict between partners during a very difficult time.Although there is grief work to be done, behaviors can be misinterpreted, needs may be misunderstood, and expectations may not be met.That causes problems for them and the women they're with.That's where The Ultimate Dating Guide for Widowers comes in.I don’t want to make any major moves (me or him) at least until the first anniversary of her death, but I do want to enjoy him in the meantime. My response: I certainly appreciate your concerns about developing a relationship with a man so recently widowed, but you know yourself and this man better than I do, so in the end, only you can determine whether there is “anything wrong with this.” I can tell you that the relationship your man had with his wife and whatever ongoing attachment he feels toward her, both now and in the future, is unique to him, and how he reacts to this loss will be unique to him as well.
It's a must read for any man who's looking to ease the transition from an old life to a new one.
At the same time, he may be feeling very guilty for feeling so relieved.
This is but one example of the sort of conflicting feelings a person can have in the aftermath of the death of a loved one.
That’s why learning about normal grief and talking with trusted others about one’s experiences in grief can be so helpful.
See, for example, my articles, Grief: Understanding The Process, and How We Mourn: Understanding Our Differences.