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Your husband or a partner before your marriage might have transmitted it to you without ever knowing they were carrying the virus.

Don’t assume that your husband was unfaithful – if he had herpes, he might have gotten it before you met.

I take acyclovir and have no outward symptoms, but the herpes is getting in the way of my having a relationship. I’d never had an outbreak before a “boil” developed on my backside 15 years ago, shortly after my husband of 20 years and I divorced.

At that time, my doctor told me I had genital herpes.

I’m depressed about feeling I can’t be physically intimate with anyone ever again. Knowing and communicating the facts about the virus and how it is and isn’t transmitted will help you navigate dating. About one in five Americans has genital herpes, and the Centers for Disease Control estimates that over 80% of those who have it don’t know they’re infected.

Then a couple of years after we started being sexual- including oral sex-he got a sore on his lip. About six months later, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and started treatments that made having intercourse impossible—but he would no longer have oral sex with me, either.

These dams are latex or nitrile squares or rectangles placed over the vulva and secured with your or your partner’s hands. Although there’s no cure for herpes, you’ve seen that taking the antiviral medication acyclovir can suppress outbreaks.

I asked pharmacist Paul Roberts about the drugs’ effects on transmission: “Taking antiviral suppressive therapy daily, such as acyclovir or Valtrex,” he told me, “has been found to be very effective in preventing transmission.

Your date who was diagnosed with prostate cancer was wrong to blame this on you.

Some studies indicate that there might be a link between herpes infection and prostate cancer, but the evidence is not strong yet and, in any case, does not prove that the herpes caused the cancer—there might just be an indirect link.