Do you know love

What is the correct answer to “I love you”?

When was the last time you answered “I love” you?

Steffi and Patrick have been together for a few months and are deeply in love. He texts her several times a day on her cell phone, how much he loves her and how great she is. At the beginning she replies and sends him back little love quotes. Over time it somehow becomes too much for her and she answers less and less. Patrick is irritated and wondering. When asked whether everything is okay, he doesn't get any real answer.

Again and again he asks her: Hey darling, do you still love me at all?

Steffi is now totally annoyed by it, feels constricted and pressured by Patrick. She asks him harshly why he keeps asking that and wants to know that she can no longer hear it and that he should stop.

Patrick is sad and does not want to lose Steffi and bows to her wish. Over time, he doesn't say it anymore and waits to see if she comes from her and if she says it voluntarily.

Can you guess the end of the story? Steffi doesn't say it and after a while both of them doubt their feelings and ultimately even question the whole partnership and find reasons not to. End.

This is just a small example of how it can work. There are now a wide variety of variations. And maybe you even have your own story?

What happened?

There are many options, and actually there aren't. I venture a few guesses.

1. She just has no answer to I love you

Steffi is not used to feeling really loved. In her childhood she longed for expressions of love, but hardly got any. Therefore, she has saved for herself that it is not right and that she does not seem so lovable either. Clear case of a lack of self-love!Every “I love you” takes her further away from her own infatuation because she just can't believe that Patrick really loves her from the bottom of his heart. Perhaps she is not even aware of it, but she tries to protect herself inside and avoids being close.

2. Patrick uses “I love you” for other reasons

Probably Patrick is also not clear and aware of why he says it so often and what he is trying to achieve with it. Quite apart from the fact that it corresponds to his emotional world. Whereby it is different and doesn’t fit the sentence with the same intensity every moment. But it is important for him to say it and it is even more important for him to hear this sentence from her too. Patrick needs confirmation because it gives him security. He was abandoned by his mother at an early age in his childhood and seeks stability and security in his partnerships.Clear case of fear of being abandoned!

3. You do not yet know the art of real communication

If only they had talked about it clearly. If everyone were aware of their fears and needs, they could have experienced and acted differently. So everyone has remained stuck in their imagination and the initial feelings have been nourished by fears instead of trust and love. Clear case of a lack of "let's talk to each other"Whereby it's really about the deep honesty, towards yourself and the other.

Conclusion: know who you are and how you want to love

It is very important to know what makes you tick if you want to be happy together. To recognize, express, live, accept and communicate one's feelings. Agree on how to deal with the phrase “I love you” without breaking it. Ultimately, the secret of this phrase is the Connection between two lovers.No more and no less. No matter how often it is said, it can be consistent for both. To meet each other anew every day and to stand by your love is something wonderful. Maybe it's not always the words that show it, maybe sometimes it's the actions that someone takes. Everyone has their own language and way of communicating to the other: “Hey, I love you! Nice that you are there for me and that you are in my life. " The main thing is to do it !!!!

If you still want to get on the track of your own secret and some things about your behavior or your partner are not clear to you, then I cordially invite you to a free discussion.

You might also be interested in my Facebook group: “Direct hit heart - this is how a relationship works”, then just take a look here.

I look forward to you and wish you all the best 🙂

Your Andrea

PS: What secrets do you still know? 😉

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