Why honest people always suffer

Honest people: these are their characteristics and behaviors

Last update: September 06, 2020

Honest people don't feel the need to please everyone. They have something against hypocrisy, which is why they use the only form of communication they know: honesty. They are loyal and stay true to their beliefs. And while it can offend them at times, they are still able to build strong and meaningful bonds with people who are simply worth it.

You can hear everywhere that everyone is for honesty and defends it.But when someone dares to be honest, the finger is often pointed at him and he is criticized for it. So it is not easy to act according to your own ideas. We often know exactly what we are feeling, but ultimately communicate the opposite of it. We do this based on social norms, because we are afraid of hurting someone or attracting attention.

That is why honest people are so valuable. Because there is enough courage and willpower in them to act coherently. There are few social and psychological values ​​as necessary as honesty. A dimension that Thomas Jefferson considered the first chapter of wisdom and that Mark Twain defined as the greatest lost art.

One aspect is undisputed here: we are dealing with a quality that we always expect from others. Thanks to her, we can build trusting relationships. We just have to know that the person facing us and whom we love or respect as friends, work colleagues etc. is always honest and authentic.

"Honesty is an expensive gift that you shouldn't expect from cheap people."

Warren Buffett

How do we recognize honest people?

Honest people don't hold up posters, don't wear T-shirts with hashtags describing the values ​​they defend. We should learn to be able to recognize them ourselves. We can do this if we listen to them, observe them and connect with everything that surrounds us. It is also evident in a simple, concise detail: honesty is not about justifications.

Let's take a closer look at how we recognize honest people.

They don't waste time doing something they dislike

The Julius Maximilians University in Würzburg (Germany) carried out a study to investigate this character trait. It was first discovered that honest people tend to save time in a lot of their conversations. They don't talk around the bush or waste time on someone or something that they don't like or that is not in line with their values. They differ from others in terms of their assertiveness and their distance from people.

In doing so, they do not provide or expect too many justifications. You know, that it is inappropriate to prolong situations which over time would prove counterproductive.

They do not lie, nor do they tolerate lies

Honest people, people who think honestly, speak the truth and behave honestly, do not tolerate deceiving themselves or others. They don't lie because it creates an awkward cognitive dissonance that attacks their identity and self-esteem.

It is not at all easy to decide whether this point applies to someone we know - or to ourselves. There is also a very interesting book called Half the truth is the best lie: How we deceive others - and ourselves most of all. It is from Dan Ariely, a professor of psychology who has done an in-depth study of the subject. According to this author, we would all think we were being honest. It doesn't matter that we lie, that what we think and what we say are light years apart. We would almost always have that flawless self-image about which we are seldom truly honest.

Relaxed personalities with a calm mind

Honest people are happier and even healthier. Dr. Anita E. Kelly, Professor of Psychology at the University of Notre Dame in Paris (France). According to their study, being sincere, not telling lies, and always being honest with yourself and coherent with what you say and do would create greater well-being. This inner balance, this peace of mind would be reflected in your own health.

You are able to develop more meaningful relationships

If someone is dishonest and not sincere, honest people are overwhelmed. It is this cognitive dissonance that creates discomfort, tension, and malaise. That is why honest people appreciate building relationships that are primarily based on trust. They not only behave authentically, honestly and respectfully towards their fellow human beings at all times. They also ask the same of those who are part of their everyday life.

This means that your circle of friends is not necessarily large. If you only have a few friends, these very friends are those authentic companions with whom a continuous and satisfactory reciprocal relationship can be maintained.

Finally, we want to briefly address another aspect. Honesty is an ethical principle, a value that helps create an integral and healthy society. However, this quality, which we all believe we possess, is not always respectfully put into practice. We often resort to complacent lies that twist truths and feelings.

We cannot always say what we think, which is why it is often advisable to apply certain filters. A more or less filtered sincerity is nevertheless a very important cornerstone in order to respect others and ourselves.

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