Which is better trust or respect

Build trust: 5 dos and 5 don'ts for more trust

If you want to build trust, there are a few things to consider. Many factors influence whether or not someone thinks you are trustworthy. The first impression is often decisive. You should also avoid certain behaviors. We have put together all the important points in our dos and don'ts for building trust for you.


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What is trust anyway?

A general distinction is made between trust and self-confidence. The former relates to another person, the latter to trust in yourself. In principle, building trust means that the statements and actions of another person are perceived as credible and truthful to you. For example, you take advice from someone you trust and believe in their abilities. Mutual trust means that another person sees you in the same way.

A study from the University of Berkeley found that it only takes us 20 seconds to assess who we can and cannot trust. Body language and facial expressions directly reveal who we can trust and who trust us.

When - and how - trust will bring you further in life

There are many benefits to having a good relationship with someone based on mutual trust. A trusting charisma not only makes it easier for you to make contacts and find friends more quickly. It is also helpful for interviews and at work.

Build trust in a job interview

Build trust in a job interview

If your cover letter is convincing and you have been invited to an interview, the first 20 seconds decide whether the recruiter considers you to be trustworthy or not. With our dos and don'ts you can learn what to avoid and what will help you get the job. The first impression of reliability and sympathy usually comes before special skills if you meet the minimum requirements of the advertised position. It is also in the company's interest to be sure of internal content. She can only do that if she trusts you.

Build trust in your job

What could be nicer than a trusting relationship with colleagues and, ideally, with the boss? If you trust each other, it not only takes away the work pressure and the bad mood. The work also benefits from your trust as you know what to expect from the other. Tasks can be carried out independently without strict instructions, and there is a pleasant working atmosphere.

Tip: If you have your own business, trust is fundamental in attracting customers. Work on a trustworthy charisma with the help of the 5 Dos and expand your customer base.

Build trust when looking for a partner

In the time of Tinder and Co., many singles find it difficult to build trust on the first date. There is flirtation and small talk, but most of the time the conversations are not really in-depth. Trust can only be built up slowly and with great effort. Of course, you shouldn't tell your whole life story right away, but you should still give some meaningful insights into your life. Is it really your studies or your professional goal that defines you or is there perhaps more important things about your character that inspire and build trust? The advantages here are that fewer dates are necessary to really get to know each other and you quickly know whether you and your date are on the same basis of trust. Make sure that not only do you reveal something about yourself, but also that your date reveals itself.

Build trust in a relationship

Build trust in a relationship

In a relationship, trust is the be all and end all. It lays the foundation for a future together and gives you a feeling of security. Trust in the partner offers support and difficult times in life are easier to cope with. Secrets that weigh on you are safe with a trusted partner. The same goes for friends. However, your relationship should be balanced and always based on the same type of trust. A trusting relationship with loved ones provides psychological relief and reduces fear of the future.

Build confidence to increase self-esteem

Social contacts are our constant companions in everyday life. Whether we trust these contacts or not depends on how important we feel for them. Who trusts shows appreciation and strengthens the self-esteem of the other. Mutual trust means that one is interested in the personal opinion of the other without judging them. If you surround yourself a lot with people who trust you, both your self-esteem and your self-confidence will increase because you are in constant, honest exchange with others. You can reflect yourself better and feel more comfortable in your skin because you are in a safe environment.

Build trust with these 5 dos

How do I actually build trust? Many people already instill trust in their natural behavior. It is simply their sympathetic nature that makes a lot of things easier for them. On the other hand, there are also people who find it difficult to build trust themselves. You may have been disappointed many times or may be more pessimistic by nature. If you have trouble trusting others, the reverse is usually the case, and you will also find it difficult for others to trust you. These 5 Dos will help you to improve your charisma and appear more trusting.

This is how you create a trustworthy impression

Since we notice relatively quickly who gives us their trust, it is particularly important to pay attention to your facial expressions and gestures. Even if you know that you are a trustworthy person, that doesn't mean that you radiate it outwardly. In order to be able to enjoy the advantages of a trusting relationship with your fellow human beings, we have selected the most important criteria for you. They are felt to be particularly trustworthy:

  • Frequent nods: Those who nod frequently not only come across as understanding, but also attentive. These two qualities help build trust. You should avoid nodding too often, it looks fake or even intrusive.
  • Smile: Someone who smiles a lot comes across as personable. The impression of sympathy is often accompanied by empathy. Smiling people come across as trusting and understanding. Frequent smiles deepen conversations more quickly and you get to know each other faster, as a mutual feeling is conveyed.
  • Eye contact: It is popularly said that whoever has something to hide or is lying cannot look you in the eye. Conversely, this means that a person can maintain eye contact and has nothing to hide. In addition, eye contact radiates attention.
  • Open body language: Body language that inspires confidence is always open. If you cross your arms or stand in a corner with a crooked back, intimidated, it doesn't seem very trusting. An upright posture and confident gesticulation with your hands (not too exaggerated) makes you feel confident and trusting.

Show your human side

Show your human side

Trust and sympathy go hand in hand. If you show yourself from your private side, you give your counterpart a leap of faith. Of course, this only applies to a limited extent at work or during job interviews, but it always seems pleasant when you allow some private details to flow into it. It promotes the authenticity that builds trust based on your honesty. In everyday life you can show yourself vulnerable or self-deprecating from time to time if you want to build trust. If you reveal something yourself, there is a good chance that the other person will do it too. You gain trust when you show humanity and fall out of your usual role. Arrogance and distant forms of expression (such as affected sifting) are counterproductive and block the development of trust.

The Pygmalion Effect

The Pygmalion effect originally describes the positive assessment of a student before he has performed and the subsequent fulfillment of this expectation. The principle behind it is easy to understand: Those who show a subtle basic trust also radiate that and are often positively surprised by their counterparts. When there is no pressure to perform and skepticism, people are able to work much more effectively and with greater concentration. The opposite can be compared to an exam situation in which you are blacked out because of the excitement and cannot use your skills. Especially people in management positions should integrate this principle into their leadership style in order to achieve the desired Pygmalion effect for better work.

Rebuild trust

It is always possible to trust again. An important do in building trust is not to lose hope. In particular, people who have been disappointed often tend to close themselves off. They no longer trust anyone, but still hope that they will be trusted. In doing so, they miss the collective feeling of security and risk that their attitude will no longer show them any trust. Because in order to gain trust, you also have to trust. This includes revealing yourself and showing sides of yourself that you might prefer to keep hidden. So the risk in building trust is making yourself vulnerable. But the benefits of mutual trust outweigh the benefits and are well worth risking.

Approach slowly

If you want to build trust in a stranger, it's important not to act rashly. What put many people off are specific reviews. For one thing, you don't know how the person deals with criticism, and for another, it's pretty disrespectful to evaluate people you don't know. Rather, show interest by asking questions that aren't too personal - this will keep the conversation going. In the next conversation, the questions can be a little more personal. If you notice that the other person is not ready to talk about private matters, you can reveal something about yourself and thus show trust. If you are lucky, something will come back from him / her next time.

Build trust: avoid these 5 don’ts

Everyone builds trust at different rates. This can be due to the personality on the one hand and the experiences that have been made on the other. Some trust you quickly, others need evidence that they can trust you. In order to avoid making mistakes that could endanger trust and to avoid potential mechanisms that make trust more difficult for you, we have put together the following five don’ts for you.

No mistrust or control

Mistrust is the opposite of trust. It makes the other person feel bad and makes them suspicious of you too. Even small nuances of suspicion can be felt and affect the relationship between two people from the start. Try to make yourself aware of the positive characteristics of a trusting relationship and to leave your compulsion to control behind you. Trust and control are not compatible. Especially when you show trust in a stranger, it is a sign of mental strength. There is of course the risk that your expectations will not be met, but you have created a solid foundation for a good interpersonal relationship.

No competitive thinking

Building trust is impossible if you see competition in your fellow human beings or are jealous. This affects trust and stirs up distrust. Competitive thinking creates downright fear of trust. Everything you reveal could possibly be used against you. However, this attitude also assumes that you are always on your own. It is much nicer - and also significantly more productive - to master challenges together. So before you get stuck in competitive thinking, think first of the advantages you would get if you gave your "competitor" a chance. You could also become allies and benefit from each other.

Don't be resentful

Don't be resentful

Once you've put your trust in someone and they've abused it, it can be very difficult to rebuild. Not only does it take a long time to develop deep trust, it is also very fragile. When a longstanding friendship breaks a little, it can fall apart. But everyone makes mistakes and it is important to have people around you who you know really well, who are loyal and who also trust you. Depending on how serious the breach of trust is, you should weigh for yourself whether this disappointment is worth ending the friendship or partnership for it. Forgiveness builds even stronger trust between you and supports each other's self-esteem.

Don't make hasty judgments

Sure, first impressions count, but you shouldn't get too fixated on them. You will only get to know what is really behind the facade if you give the person a chance. If you want someone to trust you, consider trusting them yourself. Otherwise he will sense your doubts and will not confide in you either. Be flexible in your judgment and concentrate on qualities that you like in your counterpart in order to create an impression of trust.

Give trust for trust

When building trust, it is important that you make sure that you can trust the other person as well. While indiscriminately trusting everyone is a gracious quality, it can also mean that you will often get hurt. Therefore, it is not wrong to make a small pre-selection of whom you will and will not trust. However, the person you trust should trust you too. The risk that trust always goes hand in hand with vulnerability should always apply to both.


Tip: More knowledge in your everyday life with Blinkist

At your Personality development the Blinkist app supports you compact summaries of the best non-fiction books to read and listen to. Capture the key messages of the most important literature on the topic in just 15 minutes!

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